19 things, 20 candles
I cannot even believe I am writing this post right now, I honestly puts a knot in my stomach just thinking about it and it’s definitely happening. I’m twenty. It’s here and it’s unbelievable. It’s been a year, a rough one, but my teens were honestly amazing. I have gotten to travel the country, follow my dreams and meet some phenomenal people. I have gotten to learn so many lessons and I am so blessed to have been given this life. However, entering my twenties does not come without it’s fair share of fears…I’ve heard many times that your twenties is all about messing up and I’m scared of the heartbreak of failure, of my future losses and of the MASSIVE leaps of faith I’m going to have to take to get where I want to be, but I am so excited for the adventures I will have, the people and places I will fall in love with and the opportunities that will be lovingly trusted upon me and ravenously searched for.
This entire week I have been so afraid for this day to come; one of my biggest character strengths and flaws is how nostalgic I get. I love this about myself because I truly am thankful for every moment I am given, but yet; I hate it because sometimes I miss things and I obsess over the fact that moments will never happen again before they ever even end. This entire week I have been asking everyone I know “what teenager things have I missed out on?” freaking out that I needed to fit every last one in and then I realized there aren’t any missing ones. My experience is so special and unique and I lived fully and that’s a teenager experience, my teenager experience, and the biggest hope I have for my twenties as well. I have fallen in love, been heartbroken, traveled, (and done crazy things) gotten so high on life and felt so scared, lost someone really close to me and had moments that I can look back on and say that was where a dream physically came true, that is where I could see God intervene in my life. It’s hard to give up this ‘chapter’ of my life, if you will. But, I also remind myself that that last sentence is just me being really dramatic and it all just flows into each other, “teenage Hannah” is forever in me.
So, onto the 19 big things I learned this year
- you can cry over spilled milk as long as you clean it up
- be honest to yourself and others
- you don’t always have to be tunnel visioned in on one thing, opening your mind can reveal you to new passions you never knew existed
- ultimately this life is yours and YOU have to trust yourself to make your own decisions even if they go against everything everyone says. you know in your heart what’s right for you.
- find a hairdresser and stick with them
- saving money is totally a thing to be proud of
- call your grandparents
- before you do anything, listen. Listen to why people are hurting, listen to why people are passionate. Listen.
- knocking down the walls you’ve built for yourself is so damn scary
- there is literally no point to panic over things that haven’t happened, desicions you haven’t been given the opportunity to make or bills you don’t even have.
- part of figuring out who you are is realizing your resume isn’t it
- you have to learn to let people love you unconditionally
- don’t let the feelings from the people who have hurt you in the past damage the relationships you’re trying to create
- there is no reason to be so damn afraid of people, they are only people
- have role models, admire people’s growth
- remind yourself that everyone is allowed to believe in something and it doesn’t have to mirror yours. Difference is what makes the world go ’round.
- leave anything that doesn’t inspire you to grow and make you excited to get up everyday.
- crying feels really good, especially the tears that come from overwhelming happiness and that feeling of reassurance.
- taking care of somebody empties you, support the people you love, don’t carry them.
20, let’s do this thang.